THE KEY TO SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATING - HERB COHEN - HOW TO NEGOTIATE The ultimate key to successful negotiating, from “the world’s best negotiator,” Herb Cohen, author of YOU CAN NEGOTIATE ANYTHING. Recorded live at Dan O’Day’s PD Grad School for radio programmers.

Negotiating, whether we like it or not, for all of us is the game of life. And I’d like you to see it that way: as a game. Because a game is where you care — really care — but not that much.

Now, why do I say that? Because who’s the worst person for you to negotiate for? Yourself. I believe that is true not only in your case but it’s true in my case as well.

I do well negotiating on behalf of others. In fact, I try to have as my clients very wealthy entrepreneurs. Big companies with money. I operate on their behalf in deal making.

The way I am compensated is I get a meager, a modest percentage of an enormous deal. This works out well for myself and my family, and so I must be pretty good at doing that.

Yet when I negotiate on behalf of myself, I am close to inept.

Why would that be the case? Do you think it’s because I am lacking in self-esteem? Let me assure you, that is not so. I like me, one heck of a lot. In fact, if I could be more effective for myself and less effective for you, I would prefer it that way.

But in truth, I’m better for you. Why? Because I don’t even know you. You understand? I care about you…but not that much.

That attitude tends to affect my altitude and tends to affect my perspective.

Everyone in this room knows that the single best way to make a good deal is to convey to the other side, “Hey, I could live without this deal.”

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em and once in a while be prepared to fold them and walk away. And if you can convey to the people who are influential to your life that you’ve got other options, that you might possibly hold ’em and walk away, they respect you and admire you and won’t let you hold ’em and walk away.

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